I didn’t fit in at school or at home and no matter how hard I tried to become more “Asian” at home

I didn’t fit in at school or at home and no matter how hard I tried to become more “Asian” at home, I would always be half-white. I felt isolated from everyone, it was hard for me to feel as if I belonged when my own cultural identity was a blur. At home, I would try to blend in and be more “Chinese,” desperately talking bad about my Australian classmates. I didn’t want to be different, I wanted to be like my cousin Erica, she was perfect. She was everything you wanted in a child: smart and respectful. There were times in my life where I wish I could have talked to you about my problems, but it always seemed that you were never listening to what I said.